You Are Their Leader
It’s a miracle this email is landing in your inbox. I’m fresh off a double header weekend wherein I hosted a 6 year old birthday for 25 kids and their adults shortly after hosting our SHMOM Clothes & Toy Swap. Both sets of grandparents were in town and my recently decluttered apartment looks like it did pre-decluttering. But, I’m here! And, I come bearing a very short story about the power of our actions on our children.
The children with their grandmothers
A few months ago, Ila and I were on the bus heading to her track practice. On this short ride up Lenox Avenue in Harlem, we stopped frequently to pick up riders heading north. As is customary in these New York City streets where MTA bus drivers and train attendants can’t be bothered with fare evaders, my 11 year old asked me a curious question. “Mommy, how much money do bus drivers make?” Caught off guard, I shared that I wasn’t sure but I was pretty sure it was a livable wage that would allow them to cover their needs and some wants. It was the next part of our conversation that blew me away. She said, “Well, this bus driver is not making much.” Puzzled, I asked her what she meant. She explained that there were too many people evading the fare by getting on the bus via the back door, which meant this bus driver was not generating a lot of revenue. She did not use the word “revenue” in case you’re wondering, but she alluded to it in so many words. That idea stopped me in my tracks and cracked me up at the same time. In her mind, bus drivers owned their own buses and ran them like small businesses. Her understanding was that passenger fares went directly to the bus driver and not the city.
And don’t you know on Friday night, the day before Nico’s party, there was a four hour track meet. The grandmothers came and I don’t think they were prepared for the amount of sitting that goes into waiting for your child to compete for 4-minutes. They were welcomed to my small sports mom hell that night. 🤣
Now where would she have gotten that idea?? Her point of reference for how others work has been informed by watching, for the last six years, her parents build a business where they operate as their own bosses. Her perspective on life is filtered through how her parents have decided to live and work.
How does this relate to you and your parenting journey?
However you’re living your life will absolutely impact the way your child/ren experience the world. Your beliefs about what’s possible; your relationship to your time, relationships to others, and money; and everything in between, will shape how your kids see the world. You are their leader. Doing as I say and not as I do has no place in their life. Your actions are building their belief systems.
If your work life is preventing you from showing up for your kids the way you’d like or you’re at a career crossroads and know it’s time to turn the bus around, I'd love to hear more about the life you want to build. It’s easy to get into a professional auto pilot where 15 years pass only for you to realize you’ve been wanting to change gears for years but never took action. If you (or someone you know) needs the support and accountability to turn things around, let’s talk.
If you’re not looking to make any professional changes, please don’t forget how powerful our actions are on these little copy machines we call children. They are their own people, but those people are taking in our every move and building their world views through how we do life.
With love,
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach
P.S. The next SHMOMS group starts on January 25th. Let a new mom in the Harlem area know!