type B+
Last week at our Inaugural SHMOM Gathering, I was chatting with one of the SHMOM alumna and her husband about how I’m Type B+. I coined this personality type for myself 10 or 15 years ago when I had had enough experience in professional settings to know that I was never going to be the person that was so anxious about my grades or my peers’ perception of me that I would stop at nothing to make sure I appeared perfect.
Many of us tout the badge of being Type A as an honor. It signals that we are on top of things, we get the job done. You can count on us for nothing less than perfection.
If I weren't committed to showing up imperfectly, I would have picked a more together picture. But, here I am in my most primal state...exhausted on a late Friday afternoon from parenting and life demands but feeling these new Ray-Bans my neighbor gave me in my room where another neighbor very imperfectly did some work on our door that still looks like it's under construction.
For me, the label is a noose.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to be on top of things and feel like I have things together. But, if you look at my life and all of the plates that are spinning in it (kids, multiple stores, multiple businesses, and an aging parent just to name a few priorities), you must know that everything cannot possibly be together. There is always some level of chaos afoot. How could there not be? But here’s the thing. I’m completely ok with sharing that truth. It’s what makes me Type B+.
Brené Brown says perfectionism is a shield against judgment and shame for our flaws.
Committing to consistent imperfect action is what has gotten us this far. So many mistakes have been made and will be made, but we press on because we are enough. Pictured: a new dairy-free soft serve available at the East Harlem store. We made a different version of it last year but changed things up this year because we felt the base could be better. This is a rice pudding mango creamsicle swirl with toasted Rice Krispie dust and candied sweet plantain.
As a younger person, I definitely fell prey to the traps of perfectionism. If you are an achiever, it’s easy to get stuck. But, now with a finite amount of time, many competing life priorities, and an understanding that I am enough as I am because Jesus loves me (and us all if you're down with it), I just have to let things rock as they do. Sometimes things are great and sometimes they are a mess. Being a forever learner of where I can do better for myself is what buoys me when things get turned upside down.
There is a liberation in showing up imperfectly. Claiming, owning, and embodying imperfection enables us to give our absolute best effort without feeling less than when the outcome is less than perfect.
What an example that sets for our children.
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach