The Best Question To Ask Someone At Your Next Social Event
Yesterday, the kids and I spent the afternoon with some friends we met over a decade ago when Ila was in daycare. We go to the same church and live a block away from each other so we see them in passing as we do life.
Last week, when I saw them after church, I suggested that they invite us over so we could catch up. What? It had been forever since we hung out and they have a patio and a pool in their building. 😂
They invited us to their oldest daughter’s birthday party. We were there among grandparents, aunts, cousins, and a handful of close friends.
I knew some of the guests, but not all.
One of their friends and I got to talking. She and I had a business related call last year, but the conversation focused specifically on just that. We both only knew what the other did for work and not much else.
But, then I asked her a question that really got us talking.
Olivia (far right), one of my oldest friends, visited the city last week and brought all of her friends from middle school (me), high school, college, and post college together for dinner. We've become friends with each other on our own.
“What’s one thing that you’re excited about right now?”
She paused. Then she said, “Wow, that’s a really good question.” After a moment of reflection, she shared that she was excited about some new life milestones that her niece and nephew were approaching.
She asked me the same question, which I’ve never asked before this moment, mind you. I also took some time to respond.
I shared that the things I was most excited about were work related.
Me and one of my best friends from college at our kids' school gala this year. We met when I was 17. I feel so grateful that we get to do life together everyday.
Work for me is so personal. The lines are blurry by design. Spending my days doing meaningful work that also allows me to support my family is exactly the life I wanted when I first started having kids 11 years ago. I finally made it happen after Nico was born in 2018.
In short, we both shared more freely than we would have had we stuck to the usual line of questions that one does when chitchatting with strangers. I know that if and when we see each other again, we’ll pick up where we left off and connect more deeply as a result.
This is how we form genuine relationships with people.
We ask questions that are steeped in true curiosity for the other person.
At the James Beard Foundation panel that I spoke on last Monday, I shared with the audience that one of our missions at the shop is to be a space where strangers turn into neighbors, neighbors into friends, and friends into family.
I live by this relationship cycle, which is only made possible by vulnerability and curiosity.
So often, we only view our personal wealth from a monetary lens. But, wealth is so much more. Money buys everything but contentment and happiness.
Meaningful relationships are the true path to both.
So, next time you’re at a social function and you’ve hit the point in the conversation with a stranger where you’re not sure what you should say next, ask them “What are you most excited about?” You’ll learn so much about them and hopefully get to share a bit more about you.
They’ll no longer be a stranger and hopefully, one step closer to a friend.
\With love,
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach
P.S. If you’re planning to come to our inaugural SHMOM Reunion for all alumnae and current participants, please RSVP here even if you already RSVP’d on Eventbrite.
P.P.S Our next Sugar Hill New Mom’s Group starts on May 9. Register here.