Want
We’ve spent the last week in Oregon with Nick’s family. We make a point to get together for a week each summer to get some out of the city together. On the plane ride headed out west, I was finally able to see Couples Therapy. It’s a show I’ve been meaning to watch. By the time I hit the TV watching part of my evening at home, I resort to whatever is newly streaming on Netflix or my ole’ faithful show…Grey’s Anatomy.
In Season 1, Episode 6 of Couples Therapy, the therapist says, 'Everyone hopes 'if I could change something in my partner it would be better.' But really the only change that happens is if you crave the relationship…love the person enough that you're going to move beyond something in yourself."
Ila and I on the top of a sand dune on the Pacific Coast.
If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for a long time, you know that anything that bothers you about your partner is not really in your control to change. The only thing you can change is your own perspective on whatever they are doing. Shifting your perspective to meet them where they are because you love them and deeply want your relationship to work is HARD and can be emotionally and mentally frustrating. But if you love the person enough, you’ll do the work to move past yourself to make it work.
This idea got me thinking about the change we want to see in our lives.
How badly do we want what we want?
Roasting marshmallows around the fire pit last night.
How badly do we want what we want?
Some of us want to pay off consumer debt. Some of us want new jobs. Some of us want better relationships. And, some of us want to not feel like we’re not in survival mode anymore.
If we’ve been wanting a new outcome for a while, it is inevitable that we’ll need to take extreme action to change our circumstances.
Every time I say this to someone who is nearing their wit’s end with a life circumstance, I think of the Mom Trotter, a mom blogger who left her job, sold her house, and moved into an RV with her husband and son to pay off her debt and live a life of intention while traveling the world with her family. The result has given her the opportunity to raise a global citizen, travel the world, and make lasting memories all while increasing her family’s net worth.
Most of you know my story already. I wanted to work on my own terms so that I could be more present for my kids and myself. We started Sugar Hill Creamery as a result.
Leaving your regular salary and health benefits to strike out on your own without previous experience is pretty extreme. But, I wanted the life that I have crafted over the last seven years more than the discomfort that comes with doing a life 180.
I think it’s important to note that just because we want something doesn’t mean getting it will be easy. And that’s the point of today’s email.
Ila has been wanting to fly a kite at home and her wish finally came true yesterday on the Pacific Coast.
What is it that you want? How badly do you want it? And, what are you willing to sacrifice to get it?
Getting whatever you deeply desire usually involves some form of sacrifice and psychological transcendence, both of which can be painful. But, pain isn’t always bad. It’s usually an indicator of our bodies and minds getting stronger.
As we near the last quarter of the year, I encourage you to really think about what you want.
I’ll model this goal setting. I want more untethered time to think and be while the businesses that I’ve started continue to grow and provide for their customers, employees, surrounding communities, and my family. I also want more leg and arm muscles.
What do you want?
Happy Labor Day Weekend!
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach
P.S. We're launching an Expecting Moms Group designed and facilitated by SHMOM Alumn Molly Rosner. Registrants get 25% off a future New Moms Group series. Tell a friend!