The Family Board Meeting

Hi there!

I hope this finds you all well. I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but I didn’t write a blog last week. It’s full on pre-camp summer shenanigans over here, which means reduced working hours for me while I drive back and forth between Harlem and Maryland to shepherd the children to and from my mother’s house.

We have an agreement that each child spends a week by themselves with my mom and her husband. It’s a much anticipated event in this house and I am the horse and buggy that helps realize these summer dreams.

While chaperoning them back and forth is an undertaking, it does afford one-on-one time between each child and their grandparents as well as more opportunities for one-on-one time between one of the children left at home and me.

Last week, Ila (our eldest child) and I maximized on the fact that her brother was in daycare while her sister was visiting my mom. We had our first Family Board Meeting, which is the focus of the rest of this email. I can’t wait to share more about this simple but highly effective way of connecting with your child/ren.

I was introduced to The Family Board Meeting book by way of a fellow parent-CEO/Founder after sharing that I wanted more high quality one-on-one time with our kids. The Family Board Meeting structure is great for all parents, not just entrepreneur parents, and it can start as early as two years old.

The book outlines an easy but powerful way to:

Connect you more deeply with your children
Reduce "screen sucking" and device dependence
Make each child in your family feel important and unique
Help you feel more open and authentic with your children
Increase your happiness at home
Building an enduring family legacy of connection and memories

Ila and Zadie with my mom as we do a child transfer somewhere in Maryland...in a Costco parking lot.

The Family Board Meeting is a quick read but here are the Cliffs Notes:

Schedule a one-on-one date with your child that lasts a minimum of four-hours.
Let them choose what you’ll do together.
Right before you start the date, make a small ritual around turning off your phone. You can say, “Is this going to be on today?” The child can answer “No!” When Ila and I had our Board Meeting this past week, I let her turn on the Airplane Mode on my phone and that’s probably how we’ll ritualize the phone getting turned off from here on out.
Then you start the date. You should not use the date to lecture them about anything. The only goal is to be present with them, experiencing life and whatever activity is going on as it happens.
Towards the end of the date, make sure to have a meal and reflect on the day. You can ask a simple questions like, “What was your favorite part of the day?” They’ll respond and probably give you more information than you asked for, which is exactly what we want all of our kids to do…talk to us!
Then you take a picture to document the date. You should use a separate camera or the camera on your phone, but only pull your phone out at the end to do this. Don’t turn off airplane mode.
Schedule your next date, which should happen quarterly, before it’s over.

Ila and I followed this format this past week and we had a ball! She wanted to go to Six Flags because she loves amusement parks and we are the two roller coaster riders in our family.

We set sail at 11am and arrived at the Six Flags in New Jersey at 1:30pm. We didn’t leave the park until it closed that evening. We got home at 10pm exhausted but full of great memories. As we were heading to bed, Ila said, “I loved every part of today…except that Satan ride.” I Mom-failed and took her on a roller coaster that was a little too scary for her. But, even in that experience I was able to be present for her fear and disappointment around the experience instead of rushing her emotions to experience the next attraction or move the minute and moment forward.

Last photo before we set sail for Six Flags!

Why does this Family Board Meeting method work?
Well, this past week was our first experience and I still have two more dates with two more children, but as a mother with both domestic and non-domestic work on her plate, giving one of my kids undivided attention that was never interrupted by an email notification or quick phone call was so, so valuable. Putting the meeting in my calendar meant no one could book time with me and she had me to herself. I know she felt that and I can’t wait for our next date aka Board Meeting.

Maybe you’re great at not looking at your phone on the weekends or in the evening, but if your work, for whatever reason, requires your attention when it needs it, I cannot more highly recommend this method of high quality connection time with your child/ren.

Ila is already looking forward to our next Board Meeting and as we anticipate our next meeting, I can feel an even tighter bond between us.

Let me know if you put this practice into place. I can’t wait to hear your stories!

Happy Independence Day Weekend.

Petrushka

P.S. Nick and I were featured on a six-minute segment on the TODAY Show as a promo for Al Roker’s digital streaming show Family Style, which focuses on iconic family-run food businesses on Peacock TV. You can check out the segment here. I also recommend watching the Family Style episode that we were included in if you want to learn more about the history of ice cream.