Graduation
This past weekend, I traveled to Rhode Island to see one of my nephews perform with his Taiko drumming ensemble. My sister flew in from California and we took a train to Providence to see him on Friday night.
You know what’s crazy? Watching your 22-year old nephew not be two anymore. During the performance, I kept asking my sister where the adults were? Who was taking this drumming ensemble to all these different out-of-state performances? And, who was teaching them all of this drumming? And she just laughed and said, “They’re adults. They do it on their own.”
My nephew performing with his ensemble mates.
I was in the delivery room when he and his older sibling were born…great birth control for my teenage girl self, by the way. And now he’s a whole adult preparing to graduate in a few weeks.
I’ve learned so much about being a mother from my sister. She’s nine years older than me and started her mothering journey in her mid-twenties. Now, she has two adult children. Naturally, I asked her what her biggest lessons have been over the last 25 years. Here’s what she said:
The early years are physically taxing, which can take a toll on your emotional and mental states.
The later years (13+) are emotionally and mentally taxing, which can have an impact on your physical state.
Our children are not our own. We are mere stewards of their lives.
No matter how much you show up for them, they’ll blame you for everything anyway.
Proud aunt and mother with a 22-year old man who humored all of our over enthusiasm about his brilliant performance
As the auntie who was in high school when she became an aunt, my lessons have been:
Time flies and the majority of my relationship with my children will be with them living outside of my stewardship.
A lot of what I obsess about regarding my children today won’t matter in the future or at least won’t make a difference
Integrate and model the attributes I want my children to also embrace, but know that there are no guarantees that they will.
The only thing I truly have control over is myself and how I respond to things.
So what does this have to do with you?
If you’re a mother with young children, all the adages are true. The days are long, but the years are short. Embrace the present even when you’re in deep frustration about your child not getting potty trained fast enough. The months that it takes for your little one to figure out how to go to the bathroom are a blip on the map of your time with them. Try your best to enjoy the good times and the presently tough ones.
If you’re not a mother but thinking about it, know that all of the stages will feel hard as you are experiencing them until you get to the next stage and realize the previous one wasn’t so bad.
If you’re a mother with older kids, according to my sister, you’re in your second life tour era where you watch the children you raised make their own decisions while you brace from a distance for the consequences either good or bad.
If you’re an expecting mother, get yourself to a New Mom’s Group that honors and supports your journey into motherhood. Ours starts this Thursday! Tell a friend.
Have a great week,
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach
P.S. Don't forget to RSVP to our Annual SHMOM Reunion taking place this Saturday, May 11th at 11am in Morningside Park.