Dreams Deferred

Earlier this week, I had an ice cream date with author Tembe Denton-Hurst. SHMOM ‘18 Alumna Szilvia Molnar who is also an author with next level prose connected us. Tembe was recently written up in the Sunday Times. In the piece, she was able to share with readers what her Sundays look like. She and her fiancée run a biscuit company by the name of Sundays Only where they do exactly what their company name suggests…deliver homemade biscuits to their multi-borough customer base on Sundays.

Here we are on our ice cream date at the Lenox store before opening hours

During our ice cream date, because ice cream dates trump coffee dates any day, we talked about writing and running food businesses. She shared the vision of the life she and her fiancée are working towards. I told her having a clear vision is half the battle for making any dream come true. 

I’ve had many conversations with mothers about their own big dreams. More times than not, it’s hard for them to articulate what it is they actually want. It’s as if along their motherhood journey the dream switch got turned off. When we have kids, making dramatic shifts in different professional or lifestyle directions feels far fetched and out of reach. After all, our main gig is providing for them.

My girls sitting with a classmate and one of my best friend's girls selling lemonade yesterday outside of her art, design, and wellness studio in East Harlem on the afternoon of her one-year in business anniversary party

But then I ask, “What life do you want for your child when they are your age?” The dreaming light switches back on and the answers abound. The vision is clear. And then this is when I say, “All that you want for your child at your age is what you want for yourself now and in the future. How can you make it happen? What steps can you take to bring this life into existence?”

Our children learn from us first. They take their cues and form many of their habits watching our actions. As parents, our focus is mostly placed on short-term provision ensuring that they have food, clothing, shelter, a good education, and enrichment activities. We think less about the long-term provision of how our habits and consistent actions will provide for them in the future. I spend a good amount of my reflection time pondering the application of these ideas in my own life.

We can't expect our children to embody and embrace ways of living that we ourselves are unwilling to strive for.

Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach