The Ecosystem

Happy Memorial Day.
 
I hope you all are taking a day to rest or spend time with loved ones. I’m sending this to you today instead of the weekend because between all of the terrible news we’ve witnessed this week plus lots of activity at the shop and it being my last week of CUNY classes, I just needed a moment. 
 
Even though we’re still very much living in a COVID reality, Chapter Three of this roller coaster story feels closer to pre-COVID life now more than ever. Childcare swapping with friends is back for us. And, we’re doing slumber parties again with classmates and neighbors. Folks we know have been catching COVID and we have been trying to dodge it as best we can in order to maintain our pre-COVID cadence of connection with our people.
 
I can’t tell you what this opportunity to connect with others again has meant for me. 
 
Last night, I was able to hang out with friends new and old in Brooklyn Bridge Park like a more responsible 20-something, pre-child version of myself. Our kids were hanging at their friend’s house,  and Nick got an evening of Shake Shack and uninterrupted TV time.
 
This evening was brought to us by the gift of our local support ecosystem.

My view yesterday while hanging in Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Sitting on the blanketed grass with our slapdash charcuterie board snacks and boxed Rosé, I shared stories and laughs with friends that I’ve known since college, a new mom friend from the kids’ school, a friend I met through one of my high school friends (said high school friend was not present) and others who’d I just for the first time. The evening was magical.
 
I shared a little while ago how when we just had one child and I wasn’t making enough to cover the daycare bill plus additional babysitting, I created a babysitting co-op to offset the cost of paid help while deepening my connection with friends and neighbors. 
 
I’ve returned to this approach in this Third Act of COVID because it’s an amazing way to build stronger bonds with friends and deepen our ecosystem of local support.
 
I’ve been thinking a lot about these ecosystems of support lately because they are literally the only way to thrive in this busy city. 
 
So, today, I share some quick thoughts on what a local support ecosystem is and how we create them.
 
First, I’ll define a local support ecosystem as a community of people who live close by who can help with anything from sharing a bit of flour when you’ve run out to watching your kids if something has come up. Maybe these people pet sit, or water your plants while you’re out of town or pick up your CSA box if you’re not able.

Our motley crew ended up back at the house that a friend who was visiting from Berlin was staying at because she was house sitting for her out of town friends. Did you get all of that? 😆 In short, she had housing because of her local support ecosystem.

Our motley crew ended up back at the house that a friend who was visiting from Berlin was staying at because she was house sitting for her out of town friends. Did you get all of that? 😆 In short, she had housing because of her local support ecosystem.

In order to form the ecosystem, we have to be willing to do the following:
 
Know that asking for favors isn’t something that you only do with your spouse or a family member. Help comes in all forms and we must embrace communal support if we don’t want to always feel the heaviness of having to solve all of our problems alone.
 
Help others when they’re in a bind. If you have the time or another resource to spare, proactively, but respectfully, help others when you see they could use a hand. Doing so not only puts good energy in the world, that person may be more willing to help you if ever you need it down the line. A perfect example of this is when a person has just experienced a death or family issue that will take all of their energy to manage. Proactively helping them doesn’t sound like, “Well let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” Proactive help sounds like this, “When might be a good time to drop off a meal for you and your family,” or “I saw these [something they might like] and thought you might like it. I’ll place it by your door so you can grab it when you’re ready.”
 
Be comfortable asking for help. It’s easy to say that you’ll figure out how to solve a problem on your own. But, the mere act of asking a friend for help communicates your vulnerability. There is no connection without vulnerability so asking for help leads to closer connection with our people while also solving the problem we needed help with in the first place.
 
There’s so much more that I could add to this list, but I’ll leave these ideas here for now. Being willing to ask for help and being willing to help others is how we thrive in this city. There’s not much else to it if you ask me.
 
Today, I am grateful for my local support ecosystem and I hope that if you don’t already have one, you consider what life might look like with one in place. 
 
And, if you do have one in place, please feel free to send me some of the strategies you have put into place to keep your ecosystem going.
 
Have a great day!
 
Petrushka

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