I’m Drowning in My Dreams

Today was National Ice Cream Day, which meant a drove of mostly happy customers came to claim their free Organic Valley x Sugar Hill Creamery Sweet Corn Custard scoop. My child is howling from the other room as I type this because he doesn't want to go swimming tomorrow at camp. I'm sick…again. And, it's summer, which means I not only feel perpetually behind on everything, I am.

A picture Zadie took of me this morning at a friend's four-year old's birthday. I was drugged up on the 'Tussin and drinking a garlic, lemon, honey, salt tea I made myself.

Last week in a weekly check-meeting, one of our Sugar Hill Creamery team members asked me for something that I did not have an answer for and I, exasperated, blurted out, "I'm drowning in my dreams, Bianca!"

It wasn't scary, I promise.

But it got me thinking about this visual of feeling like you are drowning in an existence you once dreamed about.

I've been sharing this phrase with others since that meeting and it seems to be resonating because many of us are, in fact, drowning in the life we wanted for ourselves.

A picture of yesterday's Summer is Here event where NYT Best Selling Author Renée Watson read from her book "Summer is Here" on Harlem's Sesame Street, Marcus Meets Malcolm. Kids played summer games and enjoyed ice pops. I was also able to turn this event that was originally scheduled to take place at the Lenox store, into a cultivation event for the kids' school, which worked out great.

When I embarked on my ice cream journey, I wanted a more flexible schedule. I wanted the opportunity to make more than I was making as an employee working in various arts and culture non-profits. I wanted to be able to respond to my family's needs at a moment's notice. I wanted to be able to volunteer at my kids' school when they needed me. And, I wanted to spend more time in my neighborhood building relationships with my neighbors.

I wanted all of these experiences. And, I can confidently say that all of them have come to pass…and yet, I am drowning.

I'm not sharing this for sympathy. I don't think that I'll "die" from said drowning, but I want to be honest with you about the fact that I am swallowing a lot of water right now.

I think it's important to acknowledge the growing edge that comes with ambition.

Picture from yesterday of kids from our building playing basketball on the Marcus Meets Malcolm street during the summer barbecue that I organized as a board member-at-large for my co-op.

When we level up to the next rung of whatever ladder we are climbing, it's important to know that there will be new and different obstacles interfering with our strides.

How we respond to the obstacles is what will allow us to keep going or be the cause to folding under the pressure.

I think this is the case for the entrepreneurs and employees among us.

"If You Scoop It, They Will Come," our sweet corn custard with wild plum gelée made with Organic Valley dairy will be available until July 31st. One customer said that the paring of flavors was perfect and the ice cream was refreshing but still creamy.

I guess I'm sharing all of this to normalize the drowning feeling.

It's inevitable that we will experience it. When you have a child, you can feel like you're drowning for a while. When you get that promotion, you'll feel it until you settle into your role and start hitting your performance milestones. If you're starting a business, you feel it while you work to hit your revenue goals, build a healthy company culture, and provide your customers with an excellent experience with your product or service.

All of this is normal.

How we respond is the key.

Sometimes the solution looks like us saying no and setting better boundaries.

Sometimes it means we're delegating more tasks and getting more paid or unpaid help. You can read my story about how I created a babysitting cooperative when we needed more childcare help and didn't have a ton of money to spend. 

And sometimes, the solution is just to keep going with the knowledge that the drowning feeling will pass.

As our muscles get stronger, we'll eventually swim in our success.

Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach