Chicken Liver

I wrote today’s email before the election. I still want to share it and have decided not to take up this space with my grief as I did earlier this week here and here.

I hope you enjoy the following reflection. 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday last Monday in Maryland nursing my mom back to normal after her brain surgery. It wasn’t a particularly festive celebration, but obviously far better than the alternative of not having her at all. When I got back to the city, Nick and the children put together a quick celebration that ended with me blowing out the candles on some gluten free donuts before the kids headed to bed.

Me enjoying a chocolate mouse at Clay

Nick and I celebrated with dinner and drinks last Saturday at Clay, a farm fresh, New American restaurant in our neighborhood that boasts a thoughtful menu and cocktail program. We ordered several appetizers to share –– steak tartare, chicken liver, duck fat potatoes, and roasted beets with miso-créme fraîche. We chatted with one of the owners, who happens to also be one of our customers, until the food arrived. 

I sipped on my dirty vodka martini and Nick on a cold glass of 2019 Savennieres Chenin Blanc. Between bites of the duck fat potatoes and slathered chicken liver on gluten free bread, a childhood memory came rushing back to me. 

It was just my mom and me living together in Washington, DC after she and my dad divorced in 1986. One day after school when I was about six or seven, I remember her planning an indoor picnic for us to enjoy at home. I remember walking alongside her in the aisles of a gourmet grocer located just over the Connecticut Avenue Bridge, which was steps from our apartment door. I used to walk across this same bridge with her to get ice cream from Baskin and Robbins on Connecticut Avenue. These memories helped write our business plan for Sugar Hill Creamery.

Couldn't help but take these two pictures as we were eating...there's the chicken liver on the above photo!

As we walked the aisles, she picked out items for our picnic menu. I remember wanting to see sugary cereals and brightly packaged snacks that would summon any child to its shelves, but I remember moody lighting, monochromatic fare, and lots of foods that I would appreciate now but were completely lost on me then. I remember my mom saying that we “must” have patè as one of our picnic items because it wouldn’t be a picnic without it. She purchased a tri-color vegetable patè, chicken liver patè and tiny toasts among other items. 

When we got home, we laid out a sheet on our living room floor. She put our goodies in a wicker picnic basket and we began to dine. It was such a fun dinner. I enjoyed eating these new foods that made me feel sophisticated and adult-like even though I’m pretty sure I pushed back on wanting to try them at that time. 

I can’t imagine that she even remembers this so I’ll never know what prompted her to do this with me. Maybe she didn’t have a plan for what we’d eat that night. Maybe she thought a living room picnic would be fun. Maybe, like me, she had read a book about creating these special one-on-one moments with your kids. I’ll never know but I do remember asking her multiple times after that picnic if we could do it again.

All of us, except for Nico, who did not want to be in the picture, about to enjoy this gluten-free 11-layer cake that my confection sister Auzerais sent for my birthday. If you’re looking for a delicious dessert to send to a loved one, colleague, or client, I cannot recommend more highly all of the goodies her company Blondery makes.

It’s funny what memories we hold onto from our childhood. I think this picnic was particularly memorable because we were doing the ordinary (eating dinner) in an unconventional way (new foods on a picnic sheet on the living room floor) making it all so novel. Most of all, we were doing it together without the distraction of either of our friends as company or tv as an auditory companion. 

What my mom appreciated most during my time with her post-surgery was the act of us sitting on her couch with no agenda. Here we were enjoying an ordinary activity in a way that we would not normally be able to. Neither one of us can sit still for that long without feeling the urge to busy ourselves with something. And I guess, here’s why I’m sharing all of this…Undivided attention with a loved one paired with unconventional takes on the ordinary creates lasting memories. 

Now more than ever, we need to make time for community building and memory making.

I always wonder what my kids will remember from their childhoods. I know their memories and mine won’t be the same. My hope is that I will have contributed to their lives in ways that they’ll be able to savor several decades from now.

Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach