Attachments

My heart has been heavy since LA started burning last week. My sister and her family live in California. While her home and her adult children are ok, her friends and relatives have been impacted. 

At the start of the year, a man was murdered at the bodega right below our apartment during an argument between him and another customer. A few days later, the fires began. These first 12 days of 2025 have been both harsh and sobering, reminding me that tomorrow isn't promised and that what I know as my reality today could be taken without notice tomorrow.

Pictures from my sister's wedding in California this past fall.

I asked Ila what she would bring with her if we had 30-minutes to evacuate our apartment. Her first concern was making sure we, her immediate family, were accounted for. Beyond that, she struggled to name anything else. Even with my prompting, she only mentioned items that could be easily replaced. There was not one piece of paper, article of clothing, or toy that she felt compelled to take with her if she were put in the same position as folks in LA.  In an actual crisis, she might regret leaving certain things behind, but today, she had no attachments.

I spent a good portion of the day decluttering and cleaning up what was left of the holidays. As I was purging, I thought about what I would take if I had to quickly evacuate.  My list included our family binder of government documents, phone chargers, a laptop, our cat, several pre-organized containers of childhood photos, our box of professional accomplishments, clothes, water, and high-protein food. When I asked Nick the same question, his response mirrored Ila's.

I’m not sure what my list says about me or what their lack of a list says about them. But, the fleeting nature of the first 12 days of 2025 has reminded me what's truly valuable: our people, the ephemera that reminds us of them, and documentation of what we own and what we’re entitled to. 

I saw this hanging up at the kids' school. I think Ila made it in art class. I'm not sure what the prompt was but I don't think every child made a collage of their neighborhood. Seeing it reminded me of how important our neighborhood and home are to our kids...and us.

Maybe it's because we live in a finite New York City space that requires regular decluttering, but material things have never been my priority. Memories have always reigned supreme. As an adult responsible for children and employees, my important documents now take precedence—they've become the new priority. Nothing else truly matters except papers, people, provisions, hopefully some memories, and the cords and devices needed to stay connected when power is available.
 
You may have heard the idea that when setting goals, you should write 10 goals down, pick the one with the greatest potential impact, and then work on it daily for big results. The same principle applies when identifying life's priorities. For me, those priorities are papers and people.

For those of us fortunate enough to be unaffected by these fires, this serves as our warning. What are we attached to? What truly matters? Now is the time to identify these priorities and focus solely on them.

Sending lots of light and love to you all.

Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach